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All Those Lies

by Maryam Herrera

Read by Tim House

00:00 / 09:18

It all started when my parents were looking for a butler. They found a butler and his name was Goopy Richster. He had curly black hair and brown eyes. 

      The next day he arrived late. He was supposed to arrive at 2 PM but he arrived at 6 PM. By the time the Goopy Richster arrived, my parents were about to leave. 

      “We’re going on a date, so you need to take care of the kids. Crystal is the oldest. She’s 8. Leo’s 5, and Ruby is a baby. There’s some pasta in the fridge for you all,” Dad said.

      “You expect me to eat pasta? Where is the filet mignon?” Goopy replied. 

      After Mom and Dad left we started playing in the living room. A little while later, Leo said, “I’m hungry,” so we went to find the butler. We looked all over the house until there was only one room left to check. It was Mom and Dad’s bedroom. There was Goopy Richster going through all of Mom and Dad’s stuff.

      “Excuse me, Goopy,” I said. “You’re not supposed to be going through our parents’ stuff. And besides, it’s dinnertime. Can you serve us?”

      “Be quiet,” Goopy said. “I’m just trying to find your parents’ wallet so I can buy you some toys.”  

      “Crystal, should we tell him where Mom and Dad’s wallets are so he can buy us some toys?” Leo asked.

      “We shouldn’t tell him where their wallets are,” I said to Leo. “You’re probably not going to buy us toys,” I told Goopy. “You’re probably just going to buy yourself stuff. Plus, we’re not going to tell you where our parents’ wallets are, even if you're going to buy us toys. You’re not supposed to do that!” 

      “Come on,” he said. “I’ll buy you everything that you want.” 

      “I’m really hungry now! Please, can we have some food?” asked Leo.

      “Fine!” he said. Then he took us into the kitchen and gave us a box of crackers.

      “Our parents said to give us pasta, but you’re only giving us crackers,” I said.

    “Whatever,” he said, “I don’t care. Fine.”

      He walked away, plopped onto the couch, and took out his phone. 

      A little while later, after the kids were asleep, Goopy Richster said, “I need some more money.” He got off the couch and went to our parents’ bedroom and started looking for their wallets again. He finally found one of our parent’s wallets. He took out a bank card and put the wallet back. He sat on the couch, took out his phone, and went online to see what he could buy. He found a Jacuzzi for $1,000. 

      Because he was 16 years old, he didn’t think about where he was going to put the Jacuzzi or what his parents would do if they found out he bought a Jacuzzi with someone else’s bank card. Goopy did not know any better because he was so young.

      The next day, our parents told me that they were going shopping. When they got to the checkout, the cashier said they didn’t have enough money to buy all the stuff.

      “What? I swear we had enough in our account to buy this,” Mom said. They put back the things they didn’t need as much. Mom checked her account on her phone and saw that it said she had recently bought a $1,000 Jacuzzi.

    When they got home, they asked us if we had touched Mom's wallet. We said we hadn’t.

    “We did see the butler rummaging through your stuff,” Leo said. “We don’t know if he actually found your wallet. We couldn’t tell you because we fell asleep.” 

      A few minutes later, Mom’s alarm went off and that meant the laundry was done. 

      “I’ll ask the butler if he can get it,” Dad said and he asked Goopy.

      “Don’t ask me! You act like I’m your butler or something,” said Goopy. 

      “He is the butler!” Dad said to Mom. “And he’s not doing this? We have to fire him.” 

      A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. Goopy got up. “I’ll get it!” he groaned, and opened the door. We heard him say, “Ooh yes! Uh-huh!” 

      There were two men at the door lifting a giant box into the house! Our parents came over and said, “What’s going on?!” They saw the giant box on the floor. 

      “Oh, uh, well, uh, you see,” Goopy said. “I totally didn’t actually, like, take your bank card and spend a whole bunch of money on a Jacuzzi, or lie by saying I’m 25 when I’m actually 16…

tee-hee.” He chuckled nervously. “Oops, I spilled the beans.” Sweat began to trickle down his face. 

      “You’re fired!” said Dad.

       Goopy Richster ran and secretly hid in the bathroom. While he was in the bathroom, Mom said to the delivery people, “Take away this Jacuzzi!” They thought Goopy left the house, and they were relieved he was gone. 

      The next morning, since it was the weekend, Leo had to take a shower. He knocked on the bathroom door, but no one answered. He knew that none of his family members were in there. Who could be in there?! he thought. 

      Twenty minutes later, the door opened. Goopy Richster came out with a towel wrapped around his waist. “It’s a little wet,” he said. 

      When Leo went in, the bathroom was flooded! There was a giant Jacuzzi in there! In the middle of the night, while everyone was sleeping, Goopy had called the delivery men and told them to bring back the Jacuzzi. He didn’t know where to put it, so he told them to just put it in the bathroom. 

      Leo went to tell his parents that he couldn’t take a shower because there was a Jacuzzi taking up half of the bathroom, and that it was right in front of the bathtub!

      “But where did the Jacuzzi come from?!“ his parents asked.

      Goopy was getting changed. He was hiding in the spare bedroom. 

      “Time to leave. We're going to meet the Breams, ” Mom said as she heaved Ruby into the stroller. The Breams were our friends.

      “Okay,” I said.

      Mom was talking to Mrs. Bream about how bad the butler was. 

      “We had to get rid of him! When we fired him, he just ran away! We still don’t know what to do with the Jacuzzi,” she said. 

      “He sounds like an awful butler! You know who he reminds me of? That 16-year-old that we saw on the news the other day who broke out of jail in Vietnam,” Mrs. Bream said. 

      “Didn’t he go by Goopy Richster?” said Mom. "And… our butler went by Goopy Richster… That’s odd!”

      Goopy had secretly followed us to the Bream’s house and overheard their conversation. They’re talking about me! I’ve gotta go—NOW! he thought. 

      That night, Goopy Richster woke up, stole our parents’ car keys, and drove away in their car.

      The next morning, our parents wanted to go to the supermarket. 

      “Where’s the car? Honey, did you move the car?”

      “No, street cleaning isn’t today!” 

      They decided to call the news reporters. It was on the news that he lied about everything. 

      "Breaking news! 16-year-old Tom Richster broke out of jail in Vietnam. His name is Tom Richster, but he’s currently going by the name Goopy Richster. He lied and said he was 25, but his actual age is 16. He was also fined for disobeying social distancing rules last year and being known as a local criminal in Vietnam! He was recently hired as a butler in Massachusetts, and bought a $1,000 Jacuzzi with the family’s bank card. And he’s on the run here in Mass! The police are on the lookout for him. If you have any information about him, please call us!"

      The police found him. They called Goopy’s parents and told them. He was taken away to jail. 

 

“How’d you like my story? Was it funny?” I asked.

      “That was really funny,” said Leo. “You should make more stories like that!” 

      Meanwhile, our parents were looking for a butler. 

      “How about this one?” they asked. “His name is Goopy Richster.” Mom heard Ruby crying and went to get her. 

      “Wait a minute!” Leo said. “Wasn’t that the butler from Crystal’s story?” 

      After all that, everything that happened in Crystal’s story happened in real life. 

 

Moral of the story: Don’t lie like Goopy Richster, or else you’ll end up with a Jacuzzi that you don’t know what to do with.

Maryam is 8 years old.

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