Bulletin Board description/ explanation
Porkchop the Pig
by Oriana Dunker
Read by Zoe Tseng
Porkchop the pig was a very pignificant pigure in pig history. Some people called him a swine. He took it as a compliment. His gold medals in karate from the Olympigs were always displayed on his neck. He was a very pignified man. He sewed stuffed animals for children, had cured a patient with swine flu, and volunteered at his local porkphinage.
One day, he had an epigphany when he read The New Pork Times. It was an ad for a job offering in Boston as a corporkrate philanthropist. So he packed his bags, left his small town of New Pork, and was off to the big city. He put on his most porkfect suit, and was looking smoking hot, like a piece of bacon.
After his interview, Porkchop asked “So, did I get the job?”
The businessman laughed and looked down at Porkchop. “When pigs fly!” he said, and laughed again. Porkchop left the office building discouraged. No one would ever give a job to a pig!
He walked outside of the building and wandered the streets of Boston. As Porkchop was taking in the beauty of Boston, a man in a dark purple cloak pushed him into an alleyway. He was a wizard, and he sneered at Porkchop.
“You seem troubled, hog. Why?” the wizard asked.
Porkchop sniffled and said, “The humans, they won’t give me a job, even though I’m qualified!”
“I can help with that,” the wizard said. He tapped Porkchop on the snout and he became human! (A very pink human.) Porkchop ran back into the building and dashed into the interviewer's office. “Your name?” the interviewer asked.
Porkchop was as sweaty as a boiled hot dog. Not knowing what to say, he blurted “Salami!”
“Solomon?” the interviewer repeated.
“Uhh, yeah yeah, Solomon,” Porkchop replied.
The rest of the interview was a breeze for Porkchop, or Solomon now. Because of his charm, and outstanding resume, he got the job!
Oriana is 13 years old. She doesn’t usually write ‘funny’ stories and wanted to highlight her change in writing with a short and fun story.
Illustrations by Kristen Leslie